Boy oh boy when the betting gods are against you life can be really rough! I did not have a single winner at the Cheltenham festival and to compound the misery I got knocked out of 4 poker tournaments by mugs who decided that they could beat mathematical statistics and betted like fools and I suffered their fool hardy strategy spectacularly!
Although I didn’t have a winner and did manage to lay a few horses as in the place market as there price was so short it was ridiculous. You can always tell when the bookies are looking to clean up as they will have loads of colourful adverts offering to give new punters free money if they join up and place a bet at Cheltenham. When you see these adverts, alarm bells should start ringing – why would bookies give you money so that you can have a free bet and potentially clean them out? Obviously they know something that we don’t and are therefore looking to hook the punters and earn enough money to take their wives on a lovely holiday and pay for a new bathroom suite for their mistresses.
So take a tip for me when you see bookies offering to give you £100, £200 or even £500 you know that those days racing is not to be invested in too heavily as the fancied horses are likely to get beaten
I have made it a rule not to play poker in those ‘sit and go’ tables as I have heard of scams where people are tucking up unsuspecting gamblers by using telephone to communicate the strength of their hands and using ’bots’ which are computer programs used to read a persons betting patterns and so the hustlers can bet accordingly. On the internet I tend to stick to tournaments as you can still have a bit of fun and your unlikely come up against the ‘bots’.
To cap my spectacular bad week the new job I have is with the extras that could not make it into the program ‘The Office’. They are what is known as ‘Toby Jugs’ rhyme and slang for mugs. Honest, they are complete idiots, moron’s imbecile and retards. The Field sales manager is David Brent long lost twin and the as for the sales director well shall I be kind and say he makes George W Bush look like a Solomon., I will not be there long. There are two silly little girls working there, who take great pleasure out of teasing other women who might be pretty than them. The only problem is that they are so ugly that any woman looks better than those two misery guts. The one girl you would do, if I could get away with it and she kept her mouth shut, but, the other one is the sort of mess that makes you upset that you have to be in the same building as you. There is an element of latent lesbianism between the two. Anyway they both need a good seeing too and I have made it my mission to be the one to do the dirty deed. It’s a hard life!