Here is some dodgy football antics featuring women soccer players and spectators. Also as a special treat the first of the Christmas songs but with a difference these are about the need to look after the bankers and their bonuses. Enjoy!

My trouble with the ladies just gets worst and worst. My default bird in Manchester is giving me jip about ‘not caring enough about her…’! Well I am sorry, but that is your husband’s job my dear, not mine. Straight away the mare sends me a text about how she carried me in her heart for 3 years and that it is all over because I am a pig yadda, yadda, yadda. Couple of days later and after a stroppy text from me saying ‘’are you still upset?’’ And everything is back to normal.

I wish the cards would behave themselves like my little northern bint because the next time I get pocket Queens I might just fold them and not bother because all that I end up is trouble. Twice yesterday while in different tournament I get pocket QQ in a late position and after everyone goes into the pot I go ‘all in’ get called by very weak hands and I lose my entire stack! Why are women such queens?

I know that you should take losing into your stride etc but when I was doing it I knew that I was going to lose. In one hand the person that called me had pocket 44 -and he won on the river getting three 4‘s- AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH!

To compound matters I went and had a stiff whiskey or three and started to play Omaha which is my default game when I need to left of steam and go full tilt and guess what - yep I lasted all of two rounds and got booted out by - pair of Queens. Only thing for it is another stiff whiskey or five.

The amount of women who play online poker seem to be increasing and winning. Why is that? I maybe wrong but there does seem to be a lot of username which bear a strong female slant. They could be men in drag and love the idea of playing cards as a woman, or guys who like to flirt as a woman in order to sucker over aggressive guys into playing loose. If that was the case that would only account for a certain amount of female username but not al of them.

Anyway with the amount of female players the one thing they do exhibit is a very cagey players who don’t tend to bluff, and when they have a strong hand they tend to go in hard and squeeze your balls until you start to sing like a eunuch . Don’t get me wrong on the whole they do tend to be good players online but get them in a live game they do give out glaring ‘tells’. Do I sound like a male chauvinist pig? I hope not, all I am doing is pointing out the trend and how to win against women poker players.

Maybe the reason they are more successful as online players could be that they play the cards and not the player which is the trick in online poker, or, they could be using these bots which seem to be inflicting massive damage on non bot playing players. With bots they collate all sort of information on a way a poker player call, raise and fold tendencies. A friend of mine who makes bots for players claim they are raping the online poker players mercilessly, I must admit I might buy one of these bots but they do take the fun out of playing the game.

If someone can tell me the reason why women poker players are so successful then I would like to know because as anyone who knows me can say is that I have not got a clue about women except they do like to spend my money and get all emotional when I state quite clearly that marriage is a mugs game and I don’t wish to be part of a mugs game, except online poker.