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  • If a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.,
  • Q: Which months have 29 days in them? A: All of them.,
  • Child poverty is going up in the UK. The leading cause? Single parents paying for tattoos of their kid's names.,
  • If I had a pound for every time I got suspicious... I'd wonder who the hell was paying me, and why?,
  • Gareth Bale is out injured for todays clash with Liverpool That must be the first time a scouser has been happy to be denied Bale.,

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