Preparing For Poker.

Always be prepared

Always be prepared when playing poker

As in life poker is always full of surprises. So when you go to play a game you should always be prepared. I don’t advocate taking a gun to a friendly game of strip poker with the local widow, no! I mean you should at least be aware of what can happen when people are desperate to win.

In some cases you should be ‘tooled up’ (armed or at least ready for flight), but in general you do need your wits with you. Recently I was in a pub game which swirled with petty jealousy and bitchiness. To say that these guys had ‘female hormonal; problems would not be an understatement. Do not get me wrong women are engaging and do wake the world go round, but, when men exhibit these traits it is very uncomfortably.

Now it is a well known legend that the Kray twins were at least bi-sexual as well as extremely violent and nasty. So it is not a slur on the maleness of the players, it was the petty eye scratching comments and the petulant asides between the players which was very un-nerving. You do ask yourself the question is it banter or is it representative of much deeper issues?

To me banter is about general chit chat about the world and football. OK I only mention football because is going to be the main topic for the next month with World Cup 2010. But you do get my gist, it is about general things. However in this game there was a lots of narratives which needed a visit from Mrs Marple to unfathom and frankly I did not want to be the detective or the psychiatrist.

While un-nerving it was interesting up to a point to see how cackling ‘male bitches’ play poker. The new breed of poker players were brought up watching the famous ‘Late Night Poker’ and so are very influenced in the campness of the program, which basically crammed hours of boring non-event hands into 1 hour of power packed televisual orgasm with the presenter screaming like a banshee when the best hand pre flop gets rivered.

This has translated to the pub game and when this is wrapped up with petty jealousy and rivalry – as it was in the game I had the misfortune to be part of – can get very tiresome. Screaming children were never my bag. To be surrounded by hormonal, screaming children is a horror which should not be visited on anybody. It can put you off your game which is a good move if you can divorce the senselessness of male cat fighting. For the first time ever I thought that having an iPod on the poker table made so much sense that I craved the use of one at that time.

To say that I will not be visiting that game in a hurry is a statistical certainty, but, never say never. Money was made and given the right conditions I could be so prepared for the horror show that I witness that it wouldn’t be a problem. The main result that I took away from the night was that the Russians were right never trust a man who does not drink and that when drinking you will see the true nature of a person.