Pole Dancing Lady Santa

The first thing to do is get a person male or female that actually likes sales and shopping. This is crucial because bargain hunting is a contact sport and not for the feeble hearted. The reason this is important for poker players is that poker players can find 100 games to play rather than doing the shop hunting circuit, which is a specialised activity and clearly can make money.

The next thing to do is get the finances to give the designated shopper. Ideally you should have won it at the card table, or, on the horses. I won mine on betting on The Magical Tipsters political betting in November when Barack Obama was 6/4 to win Virginia and was 1/2 to beat Mitt Romney – amazing!  What ever you do, do not use those pay day loans as they are the spawn of the devil and are the bankers last chance to screw the general public and make their money before the people wake up and realised that they have been conned and fooled.

Obviously when ordinary people realise that the evil bankers have been on a mission to make them poor and subservient then the game will be up for the bankers and all hell will break loose. At the moment the people are in some sort of voluntary coma in which they know something is wrong but not quite sure what and they then regress to watching reality TV like ‘The Only Way Is Essex’ or ‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo’ .

Once the cash has been sorted, the next is to pour love and praise over the designated shopper because they need all the reassurance they can get as they enter the bear pit of festive sales. Once you’ve done this let them go……!

As they fight and scratch their way to the best bargains, keep them on speed dial as they will need constant attention that you love them and what a wonderful thing they are doing getting that sandwich maker for 30% of the retail price which will make a great present for next Christmas. Trust me this is a worthwhile task as it will help with the inevitable festive tension that always arise in this period.

Some bargain hunters are extreme and will camp out at night for that extra bargain, if they do please make sure you do a sandwich and warm beverage run as this will get you extra goodwill points. 

Once the sales are over do not forget to give major massage and lashings of wine for doing such a great job.

The Magical Tipster

It is with great anticipation that we hear The Magical Tipster has a hot bet early on in 2013. It is one of his specials but he is waiting until he gets the prices he wants before letting the World know. So in order to ingratiate ourselves with the wizard of odds we thought we would grovel and creep with a poem and a list of videos showing his greatest hits against all sorts of worthy opponents in 2012.

Who can forget Monkey Bet, Satanic Bear and The Villain all laid to waste never to recover? So hopefull we can all start 2013 with a nice big win and that will set us all up to do some damage to the bookmakers at Cheltenham (Attaglance 20/1 and Bellvano 20/1 finishing a great festival).

Ode to The Magical Tipster 

Tipster’s the name, and Magic’s my game
Hoodoo or voodoo, it all works the same
One minute here, one minute there
You got an market? I got four spare!

All through the years the victims have come
Dazzled by my magic cos it makes them numb
Here comes the next one, Arthur the Bookie
My pricess fly at him, and he crumbles like a cookie

And who’s that guy – it’s Sligo Tom
I flash him my over-round, and he’s crying to his mom
Think you’re a hustler? I’ll make you lose focus
Your best horses’s have bolted – now that’s hocus pocus!

The Magical Tipster v Monkey Bet

Monkey Bet First Choice

Satanic Bear’s Grand National 2012 Pick

This tool is very useful if you want to play the bookmakers and thanks to The Magical Tipster you can now take advantage of the bookies when they create markets which are either grossly bad to bet in (over-rounds) are brilliant to bet in (under-rounds).

To find out what the market is telling you add the percentage (column %), if the combined figure is greater than 100 then it is over-round and bad for the bettor. If the combined total is less than a 100 then it is under-round and good for the bettor.

For example Man Utd v Chelsea where Man Utd are 3/1 (25% chance of winning), Chelsea 2/1 (33% chance of winning) and the draw 5/2 (29% chance of winning) gives a combined figure of  87%. Therefore if you put £25 on Man Utd, £33 on Chelsea and £29 on the draw would total £87. You would be guaranteed to win £100 what ever happens giving you £13 profit on the game and no risk.

Conversely if the prices were 

Man Utd 6/4 (40%), Chelsea 6/4 (40%) and the draw 2/1 (33%) add them up gives you 113% meaning you would have to put £113 to win £100 which is very bad (£40 on Man Utd, £40 on Chelsea and £33 on the draw = £113)

This table is valuable for any sport or betting event and should always kept handy to make sure you are getting the best value possible when betting. You may have to go to different bookies to gain an advantage . This is called arbitrage. Bookies hate arbitrage betting as it means punters to understanding the market and will play one bookie against another.

In the end if you don’t like bookies and want to increase your chance of getting a return, then marry your analysis with the maths of over-round and under-rounds and this will increase your winning as long as your analysis is right. Remember the bookies have an intelligence services that nearly ‘out-foxed’ 

In return for this magnificent help, check out the link which is going to show a live stream of a darts match.

Sometimes you don’t have to win a competition to win money. Take for instance The Magical Tipster’s tip on backing the draw in the Ryder Cup yesterday. MT predicted that the rankings on all players was pretty close between the United States and Europe’s players so take a position of backing the draw with a view to lay off and making a profit.

Well guess what happened you could have layed off at 1.4! A massive result considering that Tiger Woods gave the last hole to Europe leading when he could have potted the ball and secured a draw. The reason he gave it to Europe was that he knew that the draw meant that Europe had kept the cup and therefore his game was academical. 

In betting terms it was a disaster for those who betted on the draw since they lost their bet. That’s why MT said back the draw then lay it off to make a profit ie bet on Europe and United States when their price become bigger because the draw price became smaller. I believe MT laid off at 6 or 5/1 I laid of at 8/1 because I was so glad to have got my money back after it seemed that the US had ran away with the tournament. 

With the US winning 10 – 6 the price of the draw went out to 25/1 some brave souls such as MT had further bets (I have been informed he had a further bet at 18/1).  Then game the come backs of all come backs and Europe not only made up the difference but went on to win it. An amazing result!

So with this result it looks like MT has more than covered his losses on a rather disastrous Cambridgeshire meeting in which he had loads of seconds (including his big tip of Classic Colori – in the Silver Cambridgeshire – which was tipped each way and was only pipped on the line by the favourite when it looked like winning) but few winners.

Anyway, back to business it is going smoothly for the launch of PokerKnave live streaming and announcements will be made soon on the first venue. We are still looking for more venues so drop us a line if you know of any <CONTACT>

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xtyxr6

Ann Romney Look Of Disgust At Clint Eastwood

The look says it all! Is this the time that Ann Romney knew that the game was up? How can her husband carry on when all around him the sub-ordinates are actively positioning themselves to run for President in 2016? By positioning themselves for 2016 it is clear that they know in their heart that Mitt Romney cannot win 2012. Only the die hard Obama haters will continue because they would do anything to get rid of President Obama and nothing will stop their hatred not even the truth or facts. 

When Clint Eastwood made his improv monologue he looked and acted like a someone with a serious mental illness. This could not have been planned as a good thing, why would you let your biggest moment of your personal and political life be held by a guy who looked like he just got of bed and decided to wear an ill fitting suit to introduce the potential next President? Someone knew this and let it happened. They wanted to destroy the message of the Republican nominee and in effect the leader of the Republican party. 

Now I let you into a not so little secret, I wanted Rick Santorum to be the nominee because I had a small bet on him at massive odds. My thinking was that the Republican party have had a collective mental breakdown since Lehman’s Day 2008 when the banking system went into total collapse and the government was forced to do what they said they would never do and intervene into the markets to make sure the ATM’s still worked. If they didn’t then the whole economic system would have gone into meltdown and civil war would have broken out.

In effect they ripped up the doctrine of Ronald Regan and became a communist government – as they would see it! Their leader was George W Bush aided and abetted by the most right wing backroom staff ever, which was marshalled by Dick Cheney. This led to utter and complete confusion for many true believers and they just have not got over it. On top of that, the country then voted for a guy with the name Barack Hussein Obama to be the President which completely done their heads in and this all happened 40 years after Martin Luther King jr was assassinated. 

So after they gained some composure they set out to ‘take their country back’. It meant doing anything and everything to destroy Obama and bring in someone to restore order and the Ancien Régime – as they see it! However, some within the party knew that Obama is a formidable campaigner and did not want to take on an incumbent with the mass appeal of Obama. They know that the country was left in a disastrous state that even Hank Paulson told George W. Bush to give him the trillions of dollars, but don’t ask any questions about what he was going to do with it. Why, because it would not have been very popular and would cause resentment and not entirely resolve the problem with the economy. 

When the primaries got started it was clear that all the sensible candidates would not take part. Jeb Bush, Chris Christie, Mitch Daniels and even Paul Ryan, who I had a small bet on in the beginning, trading out when it was profitable. So the only half sensible candidate was Mitt Romney the rest were clowns and performance artist. The only one that could be sensible was Rick Santorum but his politics was so conservative that it was seen as a turn off to the independents.

Now looking back I bet those who really believe in banning rape in all cases and even going back to the gold standard wish they had gone for Rick Santorum. Hence this is why I think that Mitt Romney is not leading the party, the party is leading him. He is not in control of his party. Apparatchiks are running the show, that’s why Paul Ryan could go on stage and blatantly lie and not produce any ideas or policy for the public. Mitt Romney cannot tell Paul Ryan what to do. 

After the disastrous foreign tour and now a disastrous convention, any pretence that Romney is fit to lead goes straight out of the window. He is the nominee in name only. So this is the question. If Ann Romney want to see her husband completely and totally humiliated then she will let him continue in the process – not humiliated by not winning, but demeaned by the people on the inside who want him to lose? The country will not be put right in another four years. Even Paul Ryan’s plan is talking about a 20+ year period before it will be in credit. So the objectivist and others around him do not mind Obama being in charge for four more years as he is more or less doing what they would do.

Mitt Romney cannot be happy with the lies that are said in his name. It is so blatant and unwarranted. Even the joke about Obama’s birth must have been stomach churning. The only person that can stop Mitt Romney is his wife. She has to tell him the truth about what is going on and tell him that let Paul Ryan take the the fight to Obama without him. One way or another he must get out. Anything else will destroy him as a human being as he cannot in his heart want to be the guard that lets the lunatics take over the asylum. My bet on Paul Ryan still stands!

After a very exciting betting competition in which Monkey Bet did OK, but, was blown away by a very inspired Cheltenham Festival by The Magical Tipster (in one day he produced a 7/1, 20/1 and another 20/1 which worked out as a 3527/1 treble, as well as coming up with 11/1, 5/6, 14/1 winners to reinforce his superiority).

So the Satanic Bear who is known more for a rather cynical view on lifes little joys, has desire to make a name for himself and take down MT. Satanic Bear’s track record is pretty sketchy so no opinion can be formed as to the likelyhood of his predictions coming good. This should be interesting!

Here is Satanic Bear’s tips for The Grand National at Aintree on 14th April 2012.

Syncronised
KillyGlen
State Of Play.

If anyone wants to take on or even provide some tips for the readers and bettors please feel free to join in. 

The Magical Tipster Is Routing The Opposition

After a lull on the betting front, it is clear that The Magical Tipster is back with a vengeance! Monkey Bet has not done too badly at Cheltenham, but the scale of winnings from MT has been astounding. Some of the prices has been truly phenomenal and those who have followed MT will be sitting on a nice bank ready for the Grand National and beyond.

Pressure to produce results is always difficult and the way MT has handle himself shows a lot of discipline and self control. 

The new kid on the block has not fared so well. In fact Villan has stated that he was ‘….having a mare….’! Here at pokerknave.com can see what he means but we will not knock someone until we have seen the true body of his work.

As for Sligo Tom well he will plod along as he always does never too flash and never spectacular as he picks up the crumbs of the table and still make a profit on the week. 

So on this final day of The Cheltenham Festival listed below are Villan’s tips which he needs a lot of results to go his way, so his should be good.

13.30 – Sadlers Risk

14.05 – Snaptie

14.40 – Boston Bob

15.20 – Kauto Star

16.00 – Chapoturgeon

16.40 – Oscar Nominee

17.15 – De Boitron

The election is over for a few months as with a hung parliament there will be an election within the next 6 months 7/4 is a good price for it to be so.

Anyway, well done to The Magical Tipster who called the election presenting no overall majority was spot on (first advertised at 15/8, 11/8 and 4/6).

He also got the the first Green MP (5/6). No UKIP member being elected (4/11).

There was some howlers especially the Liberal Democrats would get more than 70 seats (8/15) and Labour getting more seats (5/1) spring to mind. The funny thing about it was that if the Liberal Democrats and Labour had tactically voted which was going to be the big game changer then both those bets would have been easily achieved.

Poker Totty Aleah preparing for The Grand National Freeroll on Sunday 11th @ 8pm

It is one of the things about poker that inevitably you will get bad beats and that you will make bad bets. Once this has happened you will either call your opponents donkey, smash the computer or even worst kick the cat. As new Poker Totty Aleah graphically put it in her interview about a players reaction to losing ”… he sat there with a proper sour face on him saying winner on next hand winner on next hand, I was like I’ve already won…”!

Lets be honest being badly beaten is part of poker. Being aggrieved by a bad beat is part of poker. You are not human if you don;t get angry when you get your AA’s smashed by  25off suit! So in my book a good player is when you get smashed by rubbish cards and you can hold it together not to lose your temper and go on tilt.

The one thing i have noticed about online poker is the tendency for a player who gets a bad beat will almost always go all in the very next hand! it is as if they need to get rid of the anger by becoming a kamikaze and somehow entice the player that gave him the bad beat to hand the chips back. I certainly have done this and I suspect many who read this blog has done this. That’s why I like writing this blog as it gives me a form of self help therapy when I need it and boy do i need it at the moment.

The other thing that can make me and others lose it is when we make a bad bet and we know we are making a bad bet, why is that? Why do I get myself upset that I knew I was making a bad bet but went ahead and mad that bad bet? I swear sometimes that there must be gods solely responsible for betting as it defies logic that a gambler will make a silly bet knowing they are going to lose. It reminds me of the saying ‘…for whom the gods want to destroy, they first make mad…’.

just to finish do not forget the post-Grand National Pokerknave Freeroll Tournament on Sunday 11th at 8pm  on AWHPOKER.COM, All are welcome but you must apply via the banners and please put POKERKNAVE in your bonus code.