Ashley and Cheryl Cole

The race has started to be the first person to go on the record for bedding the celebrity and W.A.G icon Cheryl Cole. The story of her backing dancer Derek Hough spending ‘quality time’ with Cheryl Cole, may make the prices null and void, however, the feeling is that he used rather too much hair spray, love to carry a rather dainty toy dog and walked with a very pronounced wiggle to really be in the running.

It is interesting that a bookmaker has already priced up the chances of it being the bouffant dancer and has the profession at 7/4 (2.75). This i feel is too skinny a price and should be layed with the gusto of Ashley Cole has with vibrating mobile phones – allegedly! Here are the full prices:

Dancer      7/4
Actor          3/1
Musician    5/1
Model      11/2
Sportsman Excluding A Footballer    6/1
Footballer      7/1
Presenter       7/1
Toilet Attendant 500/1

I would go for the rather tempting price of 7/1 Presenter since the rumour is that she will be on the judging panel for X Factor and undoubtedly there will be many tears about especially when our US cousins experience the fragrant Cheryl Cole nee Tweedy ‘s rather irritating ‘ahl reet’ (alright) catchphrase. Where there are tears there will be much consoling and you know where that can lead. It does amazes me that this undoubtedly pretty woman can make such a wave even though she cannot sing for toffee.

Added to the above list, there should be other prices such as how much product endorsement she will get now that she can go on loads of tv programs and do loads of magazine spreads on the anguish she suffered at the hands of a typical Chelsea footballer. Here are my tissue prices for the first revelations

Magazine spread about divorce        1/4

TV program about the divorce 7/4

Cheryl Cole keeps a dignified silence  5/1

As for Ashley Cole there are prices on him leaving Chelsea which could be on the card since he has been fined for sneaking women back to his hotel when he was at an away match, playing ‘away’ as it were. Here they are:

Chelsea           1/3
Real Madrid     7/1
Barcelona        9/1
Inter Milan      11/1
Tottenham      14/1
AC Milan         14/1
Man Utd          14/1
Liverpool         16/1
Arsenal           20/1
Newcastle       33/1

The bet here has to be 11/1 Inter Milan so that José Mourinho can upset Carlo Ancelotti and Chelsea – Mourinho previous club. As well as Ashley Cole being a class if philandering left back this would really cheese Ancelotti and Roman Abramovich off and make footballing sense especially since Internazionale does not have a established  class left back. We digress!

The final thing I will say about Cheryl Cole is that there are a lot of people who are glad that she has ‘separated’ from Ashley Cole and if she can just learn to sing then maybe, just maybe she can be the new Posh Spice?

John Terry

A new morality tale is unfolding in West London and it features the toxic mix of money, gambling, sex, class politics, football and drink. The England captain has been caught with his hands in his best friends former girlfriends knickers. He tried to get the courts to ban the news therefore stop the whole country from reading about it – this failed and now it will be plastered all around countries newspaper. The reason why this is big news is that in some peoples eyes being captain of England is more important than being Prime Minister of The UK.

John Terry has constantly been surrounded by this type of situation. In the old Daily Digest #43 his mother and mother in law were caught shop lifting and were given a caution. His dad was filmed acting like a drug dealer selling a few grams of cocaine to a news reporter. John Terry himself was reprimanded for making drunken fun of American tourist who were in a state of distress when they watch the attack of the Twin Towers on 9/11 at Heathrow Airport.

He has been constantly caught out having sex with numerous women, each time his wife has forgiven him,  he has been caught out trying to make a quick pound out of some racket or another. The latest racket he has been involved in was offering tours around Chelsea’s Stamford Bridge – his football club for £10,000! Why is he doing these things?

Quite simply John Terry is a gambler and likes to take risk and if you constantly take risk you will get caught out every now and then. It is an urban legend that John Terry was losing £40,000 per week! OK he is on £170,000 per week at Chelsea plus his numerous endorsement making his wealth to be about £17 million so he is not in the poor house, however, if this is true then he is want is known in the trade as a mug gambler.

As a mug gambler there is a need to replenish resources constantly and John Terry exhibits these qualities in abundance. So he has to get another source of income other than the day job. Some mug punters have a second job others use credit cards, some even resort to robbery or fraud. The fact is mug punters lose and lose heavily, hence their need to stock up the bank balance. In fact the whole family seem to be mug punters as I detailed above.

John Terry last big bet was trying to gag the countries newspapers to stop the story going out about his relationship with his best friends ex who is also mother to his child. Apparently Wayne Bridge is spitting fire at the ‘betrayal’ with his long time girlfriend Vanessa Perroncel – a lingerie model. Wayne Bridge has just recently broke up with Vanessa Perroncel and has made it be known that he will have nothing to do with John Terry – which makes it a bit difficult since they are both in the England national side.

Will John Terry lose the England captaincy – you betcha! The surprising thing about this tale is that it wasn’t about his wife knowing it was more about him losing the very lucrative sponsorship deals, just like the Tiger Woods saga. The difference being this could be the destroying of John Terry because unlike Tiger Woods Terry likes to gamble and gamble big. He bets at rubbish odds and is known as a mug punter. This could be the beginning of the end for John Terry – not good if you want to win the World Cup 2010.

Here are the videos of john Terry’s dad doing the drug deal and John Terrys mom and mother in law tale about shoplifting.

The Emerald Club

The new experiment for Team Poker is only 2 days away. There is a full compliment of teams and the action will be fast and furious. More info will be updated soon.

From Birmingham City Center, follow the signs for Coventry, taking the A4540 (Lawley Middleway)
Leave the A4540 after approximately 1 mile, bearing off the roundabout and onto the Coventry Road (past the McDonalds)
Bear onto Green Lane after approximately half a mile. The club is approximately half a mile down Green Lane on your right.

There is plenty of free parking and Green Lane is served by local bus routes.

Follow us on the night via Twitter (POKERKNAVE). A video presentation will be uploaded after the night of poker bliss has finished.

When you’ve been grinding away for 9 hours on a poker site, with no contact with another person or even a drink, you do need to get out and chill. Well chill out but do not upset the doorman at Jay Z’s nightclub 40/40, OUCH!

The Grand Final will take place on 27th December 2008 at:

New Victoria Social Club

St John’s Rd

Birmingham

Phone: 0121 773 5540

http://www.meetup.com/Birmingham-Poker-Meetup-Group/venue/786489/?eventId=8941689