The Card Dealer by Frank Peak
If you are a poker player in live games, and, through accident or design you end up dealing for long periods of the time, boy the period will drag and bore you senseless.
I have had the misfortune in being the dealer for a while and it sucks! Constantly telling people to ante up or put their blinds in is so tedious how anyone decides to make a profession out of it I do not know. Inevitably you will get question on whether its a person bets or some player decides they want to slow play for some rubbish reason and you have to continuously tell that individual to speed up, bet, fold or just do something because it is numbing waiting for the to do something.
Why had I decided to help people learn to play poker I do not know. I maybe a great personality and all that, but, being a teacher is not what I want to do, especially when I have to explain the concept of split pots for the millionth time. After a while I noticed that the players just wait for your voice to instruct them how to play. why can’t these people just look at the table and not wonder off into some parallel universe where their boring, tedious life has some significance? Just follow the game and do not wait to be prompted…
The bit I hate is the high pitched questioning of an instruction such as ‘how much’ or ‘but my pair of 2’s is the winner’ even though there is a pair of tens and a pair of 3’s????!!!! You find the high pitch question remarks from players who are new and just won a nice pot. They think that somehow they are good and that their opinions and utterances has some value other than to make life difficult for the dealer. I could quite happily smack the person in the face because instead of getting on with the game they start poncing around and priming as a peacock.
After my numerous dealing that I have done recently I have decided to up my game because dealing is crap and I do not want to be in the position where I have to smile and make someone happy when in truth the punter need a clump around the head with a big stick.
The accusing looks and comments from losing poker players can get on my wick. Why should I cheat because I know how you play and you play shit? At the end of a gruelling day listening to whinges, bad manners and poor social skills, I do like to have a dabble on the tables, so at first it was nice to see how people played but once you have read the play It is time to take advantage. But in the meantime i will have to listen to more ‘…is it my go…?