Pole Dancing Lady Santa
The first thing to do is get a person male or female that actually likes sales and shopping. This is crucial because bargain hunting is a contact sport and not for the feeble hearted. The reason this is important for poker players is that poker players can find 100 games to play rather than doing the shop hunting circuit, which is a specialised activity and clearly can make money.
The next thing to do is get the finances to give the designated shopper. Ideally you should have won it at the card table, or, on the horses. I won mine on betting on The Magical Tipsters political betting in November when Barack Obama was 6/4 to win Virginia and was 1/2 to beat Mitt Romney – amazing! What ever you do, do not use those pay day loans as they are the spawn of the devil and are the bankers last chance to screw the general public and make their money before the people wake up and realised that they have been conned and fooled.
Obviously when ordinary people realise that the evil bankers have been on a mission to make them poor and subservient then the game will be up for the bankers and all hell will break loose. At the moment the people are in some sort of voluntary coma in which they know something is wrong but not quite sure what and they then regress to watching reality TV like ‘The Only Way Is Essex’ or ‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo’ .
Once the cash has been sorted, the next is to pour love and praise over the designated shopper because they need all the reassurance they can get as they enter the bear pit of festive sales. Once you’ve done this let them go……!
As they fight and scratch their way to the best bargains, keep them on speed dial as they will need constant attention that you love them and what a wonderful thing they are doing getting that sandwich maker for 30% of the retail price which will make a great present for next Christmas. Trust me this is a worthwhile task as it will help with the inevitable festive tension that always arise in this period.
Some bargain hunters are extreme and will camp out at night for that extra bargain, if they do please make sure you do a sandwich and warm beverage run as this will get you extra goodwill points.
Once the sales are over do not forget to give major massage and lashings of wine for doing such a great job.