Chat Up Lines

Later went clubbing in some good forsaken night club in Wiltshire – what a waste of time. Me and my mate pulled but all I got at the end of the night was just a grope and a phone number for future fun. Tell you the truth I am not in any rush to make contact.

The girl I was really after was a nice mixed race red head (I must admit I do like the odd red head even if it is dyed). However she was with her boyfriend a yardie type Rastafarian, with a group of colleagues that look like they carried guns and knives as a fashion accessory. So all I did was make eye contact and smile acknowledgement. Inn the meantime my friend made the cheesiest chat up line work for him and pulled a right dog. She was 27 going on 77 – a plain Jane who was taken in by the line ‘…if I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me…’ (jeez), surprise surprise it worked. Unlucky for me her friend came as a package hence my grope and phone number.

Talking of chat up lines how about this one for a true reflection of a man’s intention. I found it on a BBC website today I must try it one day.

‘’Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I’m kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you’re giving me your number because I’m too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other’s friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, and you’re stress! ed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I’m careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That’s just too sad. Think about the children. For God’s sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let’s just keep it sexual, because we both know where it’s going’’.
(sent in by Christian Miller)