One of the funniest poker videos has been given the shot of publicity by announcing that the popular series will now be published in comic book form. This is great news for people like me who find slick ironic, yet biting humour funny. 

Why is this news? Well the world of online poker is still a mystery to most and by doing this series it blows up the whole mystique of online poker professionals. I am amazed that no major poker firm has taken up this series and ran with it. The story lines are brilliant and easily understood.

So Jay “KRANTZ” Rosenkrantz & John ”JimmyLegs” Wray and Executive Producer Marc Brody will hopefully be making more video series as well as comic books. Here are a selection of the video’s by the guys and a link to their channel on Youtube. Enjoy!

The Micros – Episode 1: Pilot

The Micros – Episode 3: One Flew Over the Kookaburra’s Nest

The Micros – WSOP Special

Ace Queen In Texas Hold 'Em

Playing SnG’s is fun, especially when you’re winning! I am slowly leaving tournament poker for the format of SnG’s. I have not won a tournament for a while, although I have cashed a few times. With SnG’s I tend to do well finishing in the money majority of the time and my win ratio is quite high as well.

I think it is due to not playing as many tables as some of my opponents. It is quite clear at times that they are seriously multi-tabling and cannot really get into the ‘mood’ that I am in. Yes I still struggle to multi-task. I still do not use a software to play my online poker as it somehow feels dodgy and I have not got the inclination to use these cheating machines.

So while playing bots at SnG tables I still use my shock tactic of pretending to be a bot and to make irrational moves and moves that are irrational but are really quite sensible. This makes my play quite difficult to read and after a while I get to see what the bot has been set up to do. 

This is not giving out secrets as I have always been honest on how to beat robots, but it seems to work good at SnG’s but not at tournament or cash game poker. 

As a side issues have you noticed the amount of emails you get about the possibility for free credit to play at all sorts of weird and wonderful websites? I must admit I am sometimes tempted, although I have not gone through with any of them because I get scared that they are ‘fishing’ attempts to gain information on you as a individual.

How are the online gambling community going to regulate this mass ‘give away’ sales pitch? Maybe this could be the new task of pokerknave.com…..

Empty Wallet

In the past I found that the easiest way to donate funds to ‘poker players who like to take money from me charity’, is to play poker tournaments in which there is a rebuy element. I cannot seem to win or get very far in these types of poker tournaments. 

First of all I hate to spend more money playing tournament while your ration of big blinds to stack gets lower and lower.

Secondly, if you have pulled a bluff move on a opponent, knocking him out, and then he rebuys and is sitting on your table, you know you have a determined enemy who wants to get you and is prepared to take you down for being so cheeky.

Thirdly, rebuy’s is like brag. It gives players with lower skills the chance to literally ‘buy’ the tournament by constantly re-buying until they hit that nice winning streak that all tournament players need. Yes it increases the prize fund, but as I said I never seem to win these types of tournaments.

Not winning rebuys seemed to be my naturally state of play until recently I have won two rebuy tournaments on the bounce. Winning tournaments back to back is pretty cool, but, to win in a format you hate made me happy if a little worried.

As I have said before I regard rebuy’s are a chance for bad players to ‘buy’ a tournament by literally continuing to ‘buy’ the game. So it suits poor players with deep pockets. Now with me winning rebuy’s (in one case I brought in 4 times), this could mean that I am getting the hang of the format, or, it could mean that I am becoming a poor player! Somehow I think the second scenario is more closely matched to the truth, which is very worrying indeed.

Pocket Fives

I have been having a torrid time at the game. Could not win a hand if I was playing a two year old. Every thing I wanted was being extra difficult to achieve. Even though I was playiing OK it seemed that the poker gods wanted me dead.

This may sound paranoid delusional musings, but honestly I have not been on the ‘wacky baccy’, I just have lost my mojo. I cannot get beyond the point when I should be winning tournaments. 

All of a sudden I am playing in a low stake confidence booster tournament and I am nearly in the prize money. Hallelujah! At last the drought is about to end. All I have to do is cruise into the money and I will have broken my losing run. Then I get it the dilemma!

That moment when you’re playing a very loose and sloppy player who will have a stab at any card and just wants to be in evey hand.

I’ve got pocket 5′s in the dealer position. Everyone has folded to me and I raise 3 x’s the big blind in the hope that I take it down and more or less guarantee my entry into the prize money range.

The big blind (our loose player) calls. A 9, 5 and deuce drop. I have 3 fives and I feel confidence. The big blind goes all in! Now normally I may call as the odds look good. He may have 3 nines but if he has why would he go all in? Surely, he would play it softly, even check it, not go all in which is designed to frighten off any potential player. 

I looked and thought and thought again. Shall I call or shall I bottle it and accept my loses  but guarantee  my prize money? I went for the second option.

Yes, I was a coward. Yes, I maybe should have listened to the old phrase that feint heart never won fair poker pot, but, I just did not want to miss out of actually getting into the money. In fact I was scared of losing and so decided to fold my trips. 

I spoke to several people since and they have either looked at me as if I was some sort of evil doer or they gave me a sympathetic look of ‘so you’re my next victim. sucker’. It was hard to do and experience. I still feel physically sick at what I have done.

Breastfeeding Cover Time Magazine

This is so bad it will create problems later. Can you imagine the grief the lad is going to get at school? You just know what will be said when he is 13 years old about his situation.

There was a lad who’s parents were featured in an S and M magazine and he got it big time. In the end they moved out of the area. This lad won’t have the same ability to go under the radar, his mother is a potential famous super model. Jamie Lynne Grumet is using her son as a prop and that is either brilliant or foolish. In my view it is clearly foolish as the lad will get pure hassles and grief over this.

Beef Jalfrezi At A Poker Table

Nothing worst than entering into one of those strange poker variance period, where you have no chance of altering the situation because you’ve been targeted as not having much luck – therefore all the normal fish decide to have a go and scare/win/bluff you of the pot – than to have some chatty no mark bending your ear while eating the hottest looking beef jalfrezi in the World!

Eating at the poker table has gone on for centuries. In fact the now humble sandwich was invented when the Earl (or was it the Duke) of Sandwich decided to get his butler (or slave) to put roast beef between two slices of bread, so, that he didn’t have to leave the gambling table. Hence all those type of food in which pieces of bread enclose some other item are named after that particular Earl (or Duke, or Baron….whatever)!

The thing is that the smell from this guy’s beef jalfrezi was obnoxious, and, although I do love a bit of very hot curry his curry and his eating of it was inappropriate. The smell was like a pungent burned tyre. The guy was gobbling up as if it was going out of fashion. On top of his fierce eating habit, he was also talking incessantly about nothing in particular and giving a running commentary on EVERY HAND! At one point one of the guys told him to shut up, but, this only made him more of a ‘martyr’ to the art of poker banter and he carried on and on and on.

Then on the night in which I could nothing right ‘Hot Curry Geezer ‘ was getting two cards for the inside straight. Hitting his flush on the river. Basically winning the hands he needed to win and when he lost he was always lucky not to lose too much. Yes his game was almost perfect, but, it was also very lucky. It is funny how better you play when the cards are running for you.

I did nick some of his poppadom just to be annoying but he was OK with that. God I hope he had bad wind later on that night when he was in bed with his partner?

There should be designated break periods so that people can eat food. I have seen crisp being eat, lolly pops being sucked and almost full blown a la carte menu consumed at the table which is too much sometimes. So lets all stop eating stuff at the poker table. A drink is OK but food no!

Join the forum discussion on this post - (1) Posts

Map For The Mountaineer

You need to have a game! The day has been a mess with the family in turmoil, the boss is a pain in the derriere and your favourite football team is playing like a suicidal drunk. You just need to get some sort of handle and control over your destiny. So lets play poker. The ultimate expression of capitalism and psychology in a game of cards.

The only problem is you need to be ready for work next day at 6 am in the morning and you know you’re going to have a drink or three. You know you’re going to have the banter and make fun of your best buddy. But, you cannot be going to a poker game and play for 7 hours straight. Welcome pub poker!

Some people I know hate pub poker. They see a game in which drunks and lazy imbeciles throw money around as if it is confetti. They do not see money as a tool for measurement and ranking, but as a tool to brag and boast. The comedic character by Harry Enfield sums it up best when a fish is massive chip leader with ‘I’ve considerably more money than you’.

Here is where the fun starts. You target them, let them know you’re weak and unsure. Dazzled by their brilliant play and smooth moves. “Raise you half your pot mate”. Beautiful words to my ear, Yes pub poker is cool. It falls between the local poker tournament at the casino and the family poker night on a rainy Wednesday evening.

The only difference is the easily randomized swearing which you normally cannot partake in at home or in the casino. Pub poker is a chance to escape for a few hours and believe you are making a Helmuthian fold when you chucked in your two pairs when it was clear you were being beaten by the straight. It’s the only thing to do when time, commitment and responsibilities are in the way for a proper poker tournament.

Mind you refreshment can be a bit ropey and is dependent on the good will and time the landlord or landlady have. So it is always right and proper to have a plan b just in case. Chicken in a basket is only nice if the chicken has been heated up and not taken out of the fridge 30 minutes ago, Yes it says it can be eaten hot or cold, but, usually it is better to heat up the chicken id you are going to serve up hot chips to go with it. 5 minutes in a microwave is time well spent for the previously prepared chicken.

At this point it is good to announce that a new pub is joining in the fun. The Mountaineer, Ashburton Rd, Kings Heath, Birmingham, West Midlands, B14 6JA, will be having its first ever poker night next Monday (14th May 2012) at 8 pm. There will be a turbo round, tournament and loser tournament to give everyone a chance to win something on the night. Plus the gaffer is putting up a buffet for all his guest and reducing the price on some drinks on the night. Nice!

François Hollande - President of France

Is this really the guy who is going to save the ordinary man and woman from those who want to impose the ‘Austerity Death Cult Regime’ on the World, in order to save the bankers and their bosses, for the next 20 years or so? Apparently he is according to his rhetoric.

François Hollande comes straight out of the Hollywood idea of the accidental hero. He looks like he should be auditioning for a  part in Twin Towers or some such fancy dress films. Maybe Asterix would be more his bag. Whatever film it could be the fact is he is the new President of France and he has made his name opposing the idea that we the people will need to suffer and pay more for things because the bankers need a new yacht. They need a new yacht so they must have bonuses even though they made a loss and the other rich people need a tax cut because they need more money in their pocket than the poor or middle classes.

The World need new thinking and Hollande is promising this.  Angela Merkel is a fully paid up member of the austerity cult, Barack Obama is dealing with racist fruit cakes who still believe he was born in Kenya, Jo Hintao is in the middle of a very Chinese coup involving the removal of Bo Xilai, Putin has just committed electoral fraud even though he didn’t have too and David Cameron is a busted flush. Enter the new champion of the proletariat!

The man from  Tulle in Correze region of France will have his work cut out. The dogma of the moment is that cut everything to the bone and increase tax via VAT and other sale tax methods to reduce the deficit. Hopefully growth will follow as regulations get burned out of existence. What Hollande needs to do is to show the world that this is not necessarily the way to go and that massive growth and a fairer tax regime can also do the job. It will be an interesting few years as the populace of the world reject all those that were around when Lehman’s Day led the charge to ruin.

Helping Out A Cheerleader

This Bank Holiday do not get a barbecue as the weather looks like it is going to pour down and the chill factor is going to be unbearable.

Typical of this spring in the UK that the weather is shall we say ‘mixed’.

When foreigners say that the British are obsessed with the weather, they are basically correct. The British are still buttoned up and reserved. Talking about the weather is a way of starting a conversation with a stranger and it is a way of breaking up a lull in normal social intercourse.

Therefore the best thing to do is to play some online poker and crack open a couple of beers. If you like to dabble on the horses well you can do worst than checking out the renewed battle between Villan and The Magical Tipster. 

Yesterday both tipsters backed two winners. Both picked Noble Mission, but although Villan picked Camelot (15/8), The Magical Tipster picked Rewarded (100/30) in the last race. Surprisingly, Villan did not have a pick in the last race…! In a spirit of cheekiness The Magical Tipster has waived the win and now looking to impress with his tips to blow away the upstart Villan. This should be good.

The Magical Tipster:

2:05 Bridle Belle

2:35 Timepiece

3:15 Mashoora

3:50 Waffle

4:25 Mysterial

5:00 Salford Art

5:35 Jupiter Storm

Villan:

2:05 Franciscan

2:35 Timepiece

3:15 Maybe

3:50 Victorian Bounty

4:25 Goldhunter

5:00 Lacily

5:35 Good Of Luck

Adam Yauch aka MCA

Adam Yauch aka MCA from the Beastie Boys died after a a long illness although it has not been confirmed as to the cause of his death. He was suffering from cancer for a long time and this is probably the cause of his untimely demise.

MCA along with the other Beastie Boys was a musical phenomenon. Equivalent to Bill Haley and the Comets, The Sex Pistols and The Spice Girls. Although not musically advanced their marketing ability made them newspaper headlines for a number of years. From the sexually charged shows to destruction of Volkswagon vehicles for their logo badges.

Personally, MCA stop being a musical L’enfant terrible to become a human rights campaigner for the liberation of Tibet from Chinese rule in his later life and this was reflected in his musical journey. Born to middle class Jewish parents, he was always seen as a individual trouble maker at school and he himself was not satisfied with the knowledge he was given. He always wanted to broaden his information gathering.

He met what would become the other members of The Beastie Boys when they decided to form a hardcore punk band called The Young Aboriginals. They later changed to The Beastie Boys when they decided to become hip hoppers. In a way moving from punk to hip hop made sense since both genres is about D.I.Y noise making and tearing down accepted routines in creating music.  

Getting signed by Russell Simmons they took this attitude and brought heavy metal guitars to normal rap back beats and changed late 20th century music for ever. Along with Public Enemy they created a political and social upheaval in Europe on there late 1980′s tour which led to an MP asking the then home secretary to kick them out of Britain for the good of the nation. This type of scene had not been witnessed since The Sex Pistols created musical mayhem during the Queen’s silver jubilee.

They had the first hip hop number one album and this is what broke hip hop into the mainstream and led to hip hop and rap music dominating the charts ever since. ”Licensed to Ill” although not aesthetically pleasing, the album led to a new attitude that re-united the idea that music should be enjoyed by all types of ‘races’ and not what MTV and others were doing in splitting it into ‘white’ and ‘black’ music.

Because this type of music was now listened to by ‘nice, surburban white kids’ it led to campaigns to get them barred and led to Tipper Gore infamous ‘Parental Guide’ stickers which the hip hoppers took and made it into a badge of honour.

MCA then moved into different musical areas which led to albums such as Paul’s Boutique – now used as a massive label badge loved by teenage girls in the UK, Check Your Head – again ripping up standard views of hip hop by playing their own instruments on the album, Ill Communication and Hello Nasty.

With all this success MCA then decided to help campaign for the liberation of Tibet from occupation. The Tibetans have been after a free society since the Chinese government took over in 1950. The Tibetans are predominately Buddhist and through their practice of Buddhahood try to gain enlightenment through altruistic living. This appealed to MCA and he consequently became a buddhist convert.

He made several situation art moments and promoted concerts to help raise awareness of the plight of Tibet. It was clear that MCA benefited from this campaign to bring the troubles of Tibet and its representatives to a world wide audience. 

In the end MCA did many things which showed that having a troubled beginning can be changed to create a positive ending. Here are some of his interesting musical output.

Beastie Boys - Fight For Your Right

Beastie Boys - Intergalactic