OK we are nearly there with the upgrade and it is almost finished and then we can finally announce the spectacular new Poker Totty plan and the new PokerTotty who will be a big star in the near future.

In the meantime here are some gambling songs about yours and mine favourite opening card in poker the dreaded Jacks. Dont forget the mathematical formula P =( 1/3S – C)/R, where P is the pot, S is the stack, R is the raise and C is the seating arrangement and position of play.

Sorting out the upgrade is very interesting and luckily the summer has been mixed or else things would have been dull. anyway the upgrade is still happening and hopefully soon life can get back to normal and I can carry on whinging about John and his amazing feat of getting the card for an inside straight…

More videos to occupy a bored poker player

Due to pressure beyond our control, the changes that we have been doing to the website is not progressing as well as they should be.  The annoucenment about the Poker Totty has been delayed, but, it will be worth the wait. Please be patient as sometimes life can be a b*tch!

In the meantime check out these video as an antidote to all those frustration and have a large whiskey. We will get there….

Sorry for any inconvenience but the whole website is being updated and this will be sorted soon. In the meantime check out this classic freakbeat which has suddenly came back with a bang.

Special thanks to the advert producers Five Alive for making Don Fardon version so popular.

Pokerknave Is Being Updated!

So there will be limited access for a while. When it has been done then we will have an even better poker blogging engine so check it out when it has been done.

Smiley Face

Ever since I discovered online poker, what started as an interest, became an obsession and then became a hobby. You see, online poker is OK but it is not really interactive! You do miss the smell of people. Smelling people is a very interesting thing to do, and, the only way you can completely overload the sense of smell is to be with loads of people. That’s why pub poker gets a good write up every time.

So I have decided to go to a launch party that looks like its going to be a rave. Sounds good to me! The only thing is that a load of poker games happen on the weekend and it can be very profitable playing poker online. But I do miss getting smashed out of your head and body in the pursuit of that buzz when everything is cool and the world seems right.

Yep this is going to be one of those weekend that can either be a lost weekend – in which case just hope I get out in one piece. Or it can be the biggest anti-climax since that date when the girl was sick everywhere and burnt a massive hole in brand new curtains. Ouch!

So here is to ”going into things that you really should not do” and may the best vibe win and every buzz for themselves. Happy Days!

Just to set the mood here are three videos of the golden age of raving when listening to continuous repetitive beats was incredibly illegal.

Old Skool rave music can not be beat

D-Mob “We call it acieed”

Acid House Rave 89 chandal

MC Tunes Vs 808 State – Tune Splits the Atom

Isreal scary

The amazing story of a Arab guy who has gone to jail for 18 months for having consensual sex with a jewish woman, is so scary it has to be stopped. Poor old Sabbar Kashur is being locked up because he told a lie to a Jewish woman that he was Jewish and that he was looking for a serious relationship – basically asking a woman if he told her she had a beautiful body would she hold it against him. The woman was interested and they went to a building (apparently some random building) where they had sex.

Now my problem with this story is that a) he did not force her to have sex, b) everyone tells a lie when they are having a one night stand, c) would the rape charge apply if it was a Jewish man hustling a Arab woman by claiming to be an Arab, and, would the situation apply if she told him she loved him?

As you can see this ruling opens up a lot of dangerous areas. So many reasons why people have sex after meeting for the first time and all of them involve some sort of lie. ‘Honestly I never have sex on the first date’ being one and ‘of course I will call you tomorrow’ etc etc.

It is the duty of all sensible thinking people to some how get this man out of jail. Humans will have sex for all sorts of reasons and if a person is dumb enough to believe that they are ‘special’ that after meeting a person for the first time and then go to a building – any building and have sex, surely is delusional. Yes the romantic story that was spun was that Sabbar would have a serious relationship with this woman because he was that sort of guy and there would not be a problem with the religion. However, that is not the same as coercing a person against their will to have sex.

He never coerced this woman, he just wasn’t truthful. Lying to have sex is not new and not that unusual.

Free Sabbar Kashur Now!

bingo

After going back to the hotel with my tail between my legs I have finally concluded that me and ‘bingo poker’ do not mix!

I have just endured the most pointless and unenjoyable 4 hours I have had for a long time. It was only a £10 rebuy in, so it should have been a fun night. Well my friends it wasn’t. There was a guy on my right who called everything and anything. The person on my left had no idea about the strength of his hands and a guy opposite me who called anything because he could…?

The lad on my right spent £170 on re-buys and top – up’s and the same can be said about the gentleman on my left. I was in a pincer movement by both these crazy cats. OK I should have shut up and just ride with the game, instead of moaning I should have made the final table, but it was impossible to have any reasonable game when people are just going ‘all in’.

Yes the prize fund must have looked good but unfortunately I didn’t get to go to the top table and have a go at winning the big prize. I was far too busy trying to survive the relentless ‘all ins’ and the tedious folding marginal hands for the sake of saving my chips.

In keeping my head down I missed some glorious chances on my favourite hands such as 8-5, and K-8. Both times I would have got a monster pot but I hate the fact that to stay in the game you can buy more chips. In one game I remember a guy re brought 22 TIMES and he still finished out of the money!

So thats it I will never play another re-buying tournament either live or online. They are rubbish and pander to the worst element of ‘bingo poker’ players.

Bear Trap

Another day trying to do the business led too many frustrations. The deals started out well, but slowly ended like a damp squib. The recession is biting and the only thing you can do is ride it out! Everyone want to deal but no one want to pay for it. Or they will pay for it but at a price which is not viable.

What made it worst was the traditional British weather, sunshine and rain in a relay race! It’s true that the weather can create a mood and when the only news is dire news, the mood goes down hill fast. I am in the business of happiness. Happiness is what everyone wants and they want it now!

Happiness makes life tolerable. So making someone happy is hard work when people want to stab the nearest irritant available. So while I am in this negative period I decided to play some online poker and play like a pro – no unnecessary risk – just a nice tight game.

So as I fired up the laptop I see all the various scenarios in my head and I see my response. I am going to be great! Starting off at low stakes SnG’s I am going well and nicking some chips. Everyone seems to be playing tight so I must loosen up a bit.

After a while I get my monster hand Aces. I call get raised and get Ace, 8, 9 on the flop not bad I check the guy goes all in I say happy days! My horror as my aces get cracked when two more 8′s came down giving our opponent FOUR 8′S! How the hell did he go all in with just a pair of 8′s?

OK not to worry lost some chips but still in a viable position. Play steady and wait for the good stuff. Again my monster comes up and its aces. This time I am in the best position so i make a minimum raise to look like I am stealing the pot get reraised all in! Call, and the guy has AK off suit. He gets a king flush and kicks me out of the game.

It then struck me that the guy was one that I let off earlier. I was toying with him and stealing his chips. I toyed with him as he was one of those idiots that will play any hand in anyway. I should have done him earlier but only made sensible raises giving him the option to fold or call and not make too much damage.

Thats the price of literally playing with your opponents, they may come back and bite you on the bum.

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spilt beer

As pubs struggle to get business, many are turning to poker for new ideas. It seems that poker is taking over from pool as the pub glamour game.

The only trouble about most pub poker games is that they tend to be noisy and can get unmanageable. I was in one recently when a 3 card brag player tried to convince everyone that a straight beat a flush no limit Texas hold Em poker….!Needless to say after 20 minutes of explaining the game and that 3 card brag is dumb, he finally accepted the explanation vowing never to play poker again.

Obviously this is due to alcohol and people lacking inhibitions and taking risk becomes the rule. The beauty of this mixing of mutually exclusive concepts means that the publican is happy as a quiet night becomes financially viable and punters get the chance to get lucky and maybe win some money.

Due to the fact that poker is a mind game, the difficulties occur when personal differences get involved in the game with goading especially prevalent. It always amazes me when petty egotistical confrontations become the main reason why there was a dispute about the raise etc.

My main reason to these small stake pub games (apparently the most a pub can charge and then give away as prives is £100 – and no rake, but this habit goes on regardless). Major pub companies have been experimenting with national linked poker machines so you can play poker anytime and anyplace. Most of all I love pub poker because most of the players do not know anything about odds which is good for me.