While viewing Steve Jobs unveil the new iPad I could not help thinking that it will be great for playing poker on. Small, light and portable absolutely ideal.

Without wanting to sound like one of those geek groupies that seem to cream themselves over any knew gizmo, I really cannot wait to use the iPad to play poker on.

Well I am not entirely bored just bruised, dazed and confused. Lost massively in a Omaha cash game when my full house Kings full of Eights got turned over by a straight flush.

It wasn’t pretty and whatever I did the opponent was not having it and got extremely lucky. When you get bad beats like this I tend to sulk and then go on a bender getting drunk, chasing impossible skirts and looking for a uncompromising row to get rid of pent up anger and tension.

Dont evem mention Rudyard Kiplings’ ‘If’ as it’s not clever or warranted. Anyway check out this video as it will make you laugh and keep you interested especially the cause of the black thongs.

Gillian Cooke’s super tight all-in-one ripped as she bent over just seconds before jumping into the bobsleigh with her team-mate Nicola Minichiello. The fart noise are there for added humor as us poker players tend to have juvenile tendencies and stunted emotions.

http://www.dailymotion.com/videoxbx7tb

…what can i say? You have always been high in my estimation especially when you were kicking butt, winning once every 3 games. But now you have kept all these women quiet while partying like a pimp - fair play to ya!

All this stuff about marriage infidelity is fair enough but it has happened before and undoubtedly it will happen again. in defence of Elin Woods sometimes domestic violence does have a point.

As expected the jokes have been flying around such as:

‘Tiger and Elin have signed a new prenuptual agreement.  According to the new contract, the next time Tiger plays a round, Elin will hand him his balls.’

and

‘Whats the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa??

Santa stops after 3 ho’s!!’

and

‘What did Tiger Woods caddy recommend when Tiger was playing the back nine?

Vaseline’

and

‘Tiger just announced he will be taking a break from golf to fix his family and because he is embarrassed. No kidding, last time I slept around, got caught, crashed a car and had the shit beat out of me by my wife, I was embarrassed too!’

and

‘Did you hear that Phil Mickelson called Elin Nordegren? He asked her for some tips on beating Tiger.’

and

‘Tiger Woods sponsor Nike has a new motto - just do me’.

and

This great video of Tiger Woods voicemail as a RnB song

When you’ve been grinding away for 9 hours on a poker site, with no contact with another person or even a drink, you do need to get out and chill. Well chill out but do not upset the doorman at Jay Z’s nightclub 40/40, OUCH!

Here is a mashup to beat all mashups. Eric Cartman, Christopher Walken and Lady GaGa in the video of the choon ‘Poker Face’. It seems that this song has become the anthem for online poker.

There is a feeling that ‘Poker Face’ is slowly becoming the online poker ‘national anthem’. i suppose that its competitors tend to be downbeat country and western types such as ‘Deck of Cards’ by Wink Martindale and The Gambler by Kenny Rodgers, therefore not particularly appealing to modern players. Anyway here is the video to make you smile

I was playing poker at O’Gradys when this football incident happen and all hell broke loose. Chips went flying, teeth were gnashing and drinks was a flowing. Football is a new religion and although the commentary is in French I strangely could understand the shock and dismay in the broadcasters voices.

Its been estimated that the handball by Henry will cost the Irish government £100 million! if this is true, you cannot blame the Irish government for getting involved. however, I do feel they are looking for an inside straight flush draw to get a decision of a re-match - which will be astronomical odds and therefore very unlikely.

This is a real humdinger and will enthrall you and keep you watching forever. A group of diners tuck into a fish that has been fried but is still alive. If you feel a bit queasy about these things do not watch. Personally I found it fascinating, if a little disturbing, and, kept me of the poker tables for ages.

This video is a double header because I really sucked out badly in poker. The 1st is ice hockey coach Brent Sapergia doing what I wanted to do and the 2nd is what happened to me. I know how Debbie Turner Bell feels being squirted by a beaver.

When you’re a wino in France, and, some idiot gives you wine but no corkscrew then you have to be inventive and use the most obvious implement - a shoe!

A fish in shark clothing

At the moment my appetite to grind out games for hours on end is very low at the moment. It could be the seasonal weather (I always felt I suffered from Seasonal Adjusted Disorder), or, it could be that bleeps and clicks are not doing it for me at the moment. This is making me a little bit fishy in the way I play poker. Instead of chewing and spitting out my opponents I am talking risk as a way to spice up the game. So I need a break.

Here is another of my interludes from grinding moments and it is a corker it features a very rude man who smashes over $100,000 of vodka and brandy. Also to add to the general distraction I also feature the classic Hard Times/Love Action remix by The Human League nom de plume League Unlimited apparently a nod to Barry Whites Love Unlimited Orchestra (not a lot of people know that). Enjoy!

Things To Do When Bored With Poker #6

How funny was that

?!!

.

Hard Times/Love Action